when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
