I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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