Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
