Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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