wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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