Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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