I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This is the high leading the old right now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
