try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
