Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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