I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
