She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
