i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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