you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
