I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
