So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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