Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize