He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
