WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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