in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
