You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I could fuck to npr.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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