Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
