Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
