I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
