ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Operation Purity has been aborted
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
