Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
