The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
