playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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