Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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