Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
