Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
