butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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