So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
