Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize