PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
