What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize