no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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