pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
