: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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