Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize