I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
