I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
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Threesome in a minivan. New low
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again