Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?