Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
