i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
