Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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