bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
