I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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