Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
