Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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