from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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