I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Come see our sink grown plant.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
