And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on