Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
