She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
