i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize