We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I didn't notice because vodka
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
