Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
