Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
