Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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