He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
