Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
