no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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