Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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