Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
