How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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