marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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