Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize