it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
