Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Who died my cat blue again?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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