Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
