theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize