He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
